Everyone is unhappy

Job is annoying, partner is annoying and generally | Why so many are unhappy

Are you happy with your job, partnership and private environment? Do you live independently? And: Do you get up in the morning with a smile and look forward to the day? If so: congratulations! Then you belong to the minority. You are one of the few people who are fulfilled and satisfied with their own lives.

But if you shook your head at one point or another: Don't worry, you are not alone! Statistics show that every second person is dissatisfied with his or her job. And things often don't look better in partnerships or health, either.

But how do you become happy? How do you live a positive life that suits you? And how do you achieve your goals - without pressure and stress? How can setbacks be avoided?

The two life coaches Hannah Erfurth and Christian Grosser answer all of these questions in BILD.

Why are so many people dissatisfied?

“Today we have a lot more opportunities to develop further. In contrast to the past. 50 years ago people had to go to work to rebuild our country after the war. There was hardly any room for dreams and visions, ”says coach Erfurth.

And today? Today we can choose which university to study at, which country we live in - and what our everyday life should look like. Happiness and self-fulfillment are becoming more important and at the same time fewer and fewer people manage to actually live these values.

“That's because many of us get the wrong image through advertising and the media. For example, that we will be happy when we have a house with a garden, a fancy car or the latest iPhone. And this image has negative consequences, ”warns Christian Grosser.

Because: Happiness does not depend on external circumstances, but on our inner attitude: “I mean, we all know this situation: We go shopping, buy two new items and are happy. But just two days later everything is back to normal - we feel empty and are dissatisfied. "

To feel the happiness again, many of us go on a search again. For new things to buy. After a raise. For a new love. For a new goal. A cycle begins.

“Through the constant search for happiness, we keep postponing our satisfaction to a new event in the future. We forget to live in the here and now again. And to be happy today, ”explains Grosser.

How do we become happy in the here and now?

If the job, partner or family is annoying - and we get upset over and over again about the same things, it costs a lot of energy. “First of all, we should try to accept the situation as it is. Then you can change it step by step, ”advises Hannah Erfurth.

For example, if you are unhappy at work, you might ask yourself what you can do to still go to work in a good mood. Maybe a longer break? A home office day? Less responsibility? New areas of responsibility? And if that doesn't work, you can still break out of the situation. For example, by looking for a new job. Are you wondering what you need for this: application photos, training courses or a letter of recommendation?

"But you will feel the biggest difference when you change your focus: Instead of always focusing on what is going badly or what is negative, you should be aware of what you have already achieved."

How do you focus on the positive?

“Every day, remind yourself of three to four things that you are genuinely grateful for. Maybe it's the sunshine Your partnership, the children or that your body is so strong? Write down what makes you happy! "

Holding on to paper increases the feeling of happiness! In addition, writing has a calming, even therapeutic effect. “Since many people find it difficult to write on a blank piece of paper, we have developed a gratitude diary. With specific questions, it automatically keeps the focus on the positive. But if you like, you can just grab a piece of paper and start writing, ”explains the life coach Grosser.

In addition to the gratitude exercise, many also write down their own thoughts and feelings: “This can reveal harmful behaviors - when choosing a partner or eating.

A diary helps to find out why you keep going overboard, why you give up so quickly or why you are no longer making any progress, ”says Grosser.

Studies also show that a diary has other advantages: "If you write down your wishes every day, you stay motivated longer, give up less often and achieve your goals faster."

Build up a morning routine - and benefit from the advantages!

“We recommend, however, that you fill out the diary before going to work. This will strengthen your mood in the morning and get the day off to a perfect start, ”says Hannah Erfurth from her own experience.

“Try to get up earlier in the morning than usual - and just take time for yourself. For example for yoga, sport, an extensive breakfast or your diary. This brief moment, in which you only take care of yourself, gives you the feeling that you are not only living for work, but finally for yourself and your needs again. "

"Many stars, top athletes and managers report the positive effects of a morning routine, such as less stress, a better mood and more satisfaction," concludes Erfurth.

And to be honest: Who of us could not use a helping of love and happiness in life?