Why are INFJs so contradicting

21 signs you're an INFJ, the rarest personality type

The INFJ personality type can be weird, complicated, and sometimes downright contradicting. How do you know if you're an INFJ, the rarest of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types?

If you relate to most of these 21 signs, the answer could be simply yes.

Signs that you are an INFJ

1. At a young age you felt different to the people around you.

Even if you had a lot of friends, you never felt like you really fit in with them. Sometimes you pretended to be more like them so that they would accept you.

This is normal for an INFJ because we need a sense of community and harmony with the people around us.

2. You want to know what is REALLY going on in people's lives ...

... not just trivial things like what they did this weekend or what they bought on their last shopping spree. You want to dig deep and get to the things that no one else sees.

What is the person in front of you really thinking? How is this person really feeling? The applied facade that they build up for other people does not deceive you.

3. Plans?

You feel more comfortable when you have a loose plan for things than when you completely improvise.

4. You're social, but ...

You can be incredibly shy, calm, and withdrawn as well as charming, funny, and hilarious.

An INFJ is about the situation, your mood and your energy - and most importantly, the people you are with.

5. How to deal with problems

When someone comes to you with a problem, you usually don't give them advice or your opinion unless they ask you.

Instead, you ask them questions to help them better understand the situation and their own feelings.

Sometimes you tell a story from a time when something similar happened to you in the hopes that they will learn their own lesson.

You feel like you can usually see the path they should be taking, but you don't want them to do it just because you told them - you want it to be their choice.

(Because of this, INFJs are often viewed as natural counselors and advisers).

6. There are limits to your introversion

You are an introverted person and you like to be alone, but you can't be alone for too long. After all, you have to reunite with your people.

“Your people” are a handful of good friends who really understand you. In-depth conversations with these people are priceless, and being with them can increase your energy even more.

7. Slamming the door

You have been known to suddenly shut people out of your life if they hurt you one too often.

Not that you enjoy pushing people away, you just do it to protect yourself.

Even if it looks like you have everything under control on the outside, you are extremely sensitive on the inside, and you are particularly sensitive to the words and deeds of other people.

8. You want to make people happy

Sometimes you try so hard to make other people happy that you forget to make yourself happy. (This is probably one of the biggest problems that are difficult to overcome).

9. Empathy

Often you feel like you are seeing exactly what someone else is feeling and you think you know what deep down you need. You're not always right, but you tend to be more aware than most.

10. A fatefulfill

You feel like you are meant to do so much more than drag yourself to your 9-5 job to pay the bills.

You want to help people and change the world - not just get a paycheck.

The problem is, you either don't know what your "glorious goal" is or you have a clue but you don't know how to achieve it.

11. Always striving

You almost always feel like you could be better in your life.

This leads to you constantly doing secret self-improvement projects like learning to cook healthy meals, setting better boundaries, or better articulating.

Sometimes you push yourself too hard while trying to achieve your "perfect" life.

12. Your defense mechanism

Sometimes you turn to people to protect yourself. If someone criticizes you or is disappointed with you, you can really get angry because you are so sensitive.

They can't criticize you if you make them happy.

13. You feel things

Often you can feel the mood of a room immediately when you enter it. Likewise, you often perceive the feelings of those around you.

When they're excited, you get excited. When you are anxious, you become anxious too.

You tend to be drawn to calm, centered people so you don't have to deal with so much emotional junk.

14. Nothing but class

You are drawn to high quality things like good food, nice clothes, and everything that is good craftsmanship.

As much as you hate to admit it, how things look is important to you. You like to be surrounded by beauty and have a sophisticated, refined taste.

But you're a minimalist at heart. You'd rather have one or two really nice shirts than ten mediocre ones.

15. Your secret feelings

You care deeply about the people in your life, but they will likely never know how much you care for them because you keep your feelings to yourself for the most part.

You may find it difficult to articulate your feelings even though you are feeling them intensely. (And when our personality type falls in love with someone, it's intense).

16. You worry ... a lot

You are usually thoughtful, conscientious, and considerate. Other people who are not so conscientious can appear heartless and even cruel.

17. Books, please!

They love learning, especially when it comes to psychology, self-improvement, spirituality, and certain sciences.

18. Your thoughts are far above the clouds

When everyone else is clapping and gossiping, discussing celebrities, or talking about other trivial things, one often thinks about space, time travel, human nature, the meaning of life, and other more epic topics.

However, you rarely try to steer the conversation in that direction because you don't think other people are interested.

19. You never stop striving

You feel compelled to get things done. To-do lists are often on your daily schedule and you enjoy checking off things.

If you don't have a goal to work towards, you will feel lost and bored after a while.

20. You do six impossible things before breakfast

When you are enthusiastic about something, you have the feeling that nothing stands in your way. The INFJ motto is: “The impossible just takes a little longer”.

21. You did not ask to be like this.

Other people see you as wise, empathetic, and almost spiritual. They come to you often for advice and emotional support. you enjoy your role as a “wise man” and like to be needed.

But sometimes it gets too much. You're an introvert, for God's sake, and sometimes you just wish that everyone would solve their own problems and leave you alone for a while.