How can we control our life

Enduring uncertainty: Learning to love fear

The uncertainty is part of life. However, hardly anything is so unbearable for us. It is said that knowledge is power. But not knowing something, not knowing the outcome, worrying, for days, nights - that can be extremely distressing and blocking. Such uncertainty can not only paralyze and frighten people, but also make them downright sick - for example when it becomes chronic, leading to insomnia and cardiovascular problems. It is often a preliminary stage to distrust and dissatisfaction. It is all the more important that we learn to endure uncertainty and to live with insecurities ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Accepting uncertainty: why is it so difficult for us?

Nobody knows the future. She is just that: uncertain. A right decision today can turn out to be wrong over the years and vice versa. The chosen profession or employer can make you happy and satisfied in the long term; a relationship can last for years and decades. But it can also turn out differently. A warranty Nobody gives you that.

Avoid uncertainties wanting to do so is as effective as two days at a roundabout.

Basically, we all know that too. Still, many people find it difficult to to arrange with the uncertainty of accepting and accepting them. But why?

We all love facts. Hard, irrefutable facts that we can count on at all times and can rely on us. They make life easier, more plannable, more predictable. Free of unpleasant surprises. There is a double bottom net. At least in theory.

Habits, routines and proven facts give us something to hold onto. They act like guidelines that can show us the way. We get that Sense of control about your own living situation and situation.

On the one hand this is pure illusion. But even this imagination is enough to establish that which is deeply anchored in people Need for security to satisfy. A touch of a cozy blanket wafts around us. We want to feel comfortable in our own skin, act independently, be able to bear responsibility for our actions and the associated consequences - as long as we know and can control them.

Uncertainty only gets in the way of those desires. Suddenly one should come to terms with not being able to influence things and those Surrender control to have to. This is hardly possible, especially for people with a pronounced need for control and a high fear of failure.

The bad thing about it: Because you hate uncertainty, they give up satisfied with permanent dissatisfaction. Better to accept the lousy status quo than dare to try something new.

Admittedly, as an advisor, we sometimes benefit from uncertainties. We give advice to those seeking advice and those who are insecure alike orientation, Guard rails, tips. A piece of reliability and credibility in a world with almost countless variables and options.

That is why it is important for us to convey: One can live well with uncertainty. Those who accept uncertainty as part of life can learn to deal with it - and even use it to their own advantage.

Even more: Self-determination, personal responsibility and freedom do not exist without uncertainty. The real bon mot comes from Benjamin Franklin:

Whoever gives up freedom to gain security will lose both in the end.

Endure uncertainty: I can't do it!

Fear eats up the soul. This is not just the title of a cinematic melodrama by Rainer Werner Fassbinder from 1974. It also describes one of the serious problems that one's own Influence acting and thinking and triggered by chronic uncertainty:

  • Uncertainty leads to fear.

    In the worst case, uncertainty can lead to total incapacity to make decisions and act. You only concentrate on what you don't know and in the end you don't get a single step further. Once fear has taken control, it is difficult to regain control.

  • Uncertainty worsens decisions.

    Uncertainty is part of every decision-making process, no matter how well informed you are beforehand. If, on the other hand, you develop the attitude that your decision ultimately makes no difference, you run the risk of always going for the worse alternative when in doubt.

  • Uncertainty leads to self-doubt.

    Realizing that you cannot control everything leads to serious self-doubt in some people. Suddenly there is a lack of self-confidence in other areas and you are belittling yourself.

In the end, the uncertainty leads to us being with ourselves and our situation are dissatisfied, but are too afraid to change something about it. At this point at the latest it is necessary to change something.

Enduring uncertainty: learning to deal with it

Can you do the Accept uncertainty and, despite occasional doubts, say: Never mind. I still dare ...? Then you are one of the lucky ones who has correct handling of uncertainties and fears about the future have learned.

Unfortunately, not everyone is by far. A large proportion of people continue to find it difficult to let go. They are still trying to control as much as possible in their life.

This is exactly an important key to better deal with uncertainties: Learning to let go. And if you want to learn to let go, you need two things above all:

Both can be learned - and lead noticeably to higher levels over time Self-confidence. Three steps are essential:

  1. Accept the risk.

    The right way to deal with uncertainty begins with your recruitment. When you notice that you are letting yourself be blocked by uncertainty, make yourself aware that there is always a residual risk. Doubts should not prevent you from acting and making self-confident decisions, but should only encourage you to think about a possible plan B in advance.

  2. Leave your comfort zone.

    You feel safe and secure in your own comfort zone. However, you will never learn how to properly deal with uncertainty there, simply because you are not confronted with it directly. Only when you venture out of your comfort zone will you find that the dreaded uncertainty isn't as scary as you've always feared.

  3. Don't think too much.

    You can also get a grip on uncertainty if you just plunge into it. This may be shock therapy, but the effects usually come on very quickly. Instead of getting lost in all possibilities, the possible Pros and Cons To weigh up against each other for ages, just take the plunge into the cold water, decide based on your gut and act spontaneously.

PS: By the way, there is this no alternative. If you don't want to learn how to deal with uncertainty, you'll learn the hard way.

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